My Reason For Loving

So, Nancy asked me to tell her why I love her, and as usual, all I could say was, "I don't know."

That's not good enough.  It's not like I don't have actual reasons for my feelings; I don't just love her "because she's there," or anything like that.  It's . . . complex, to say the least. 

On one hand, "I just do."  There's no "reason" for it, my heart is simply drawn to her.  Since we've been apart, my heart has felt like there's a large piece missing, and there's nothing I can do about it.

On the other hand, there are so many reasons, not all of which I can ever hope to describe or articulate properly.

She makes me smile, just by walking in the room.

She makes me laugh without trying.

She makes me feel good about myself, just by knowing that she loves me and thinks that I'm awesome.

When I feel bad, she makes me feel better just by being near me, even if I sometimes don't show it.

She isn't full of herself.  She doesn't think she's better than me, or anyone else.  She insists that I'm crazy or blind, 'cause I think she's beautiful and amazing and perfect.  But I can tell that it makes her happy when I tell her, even if she pretends to argue with me about it.

She makes me want to be better than I am.  She thinks I'm perfect and awesome, and I want to be that for her, and so much more.

She makes me happy and content, and proud to be with her.

She makes me feel things that I've truly never felt for any other woman.

When we talk, or even when we're just sitting quietly, enjoying each others' company, I feel so comfortable and at ease, like we've been together all our lives.  With other women, I've always felt nervous or apprehensive; with Nancy, everything just seems to flow naturally, and fall easily into place.

After two decades of false starts and failed attempts at relationships, Nancy makes me feel, finally, complete.  She has since we first started seriously talking back in May.

All these things, and so many more that I just don't have the words to explain, are why I love you, Nancy, and why I always will.